- Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
- Boy: I know.
- Girl: I love you!
- Boy: I love you more!
- *After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.*
- Girl: Where is he?
- Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart?
- Girl: (Starts crying)
- Dad: I'm just kidding he went for a piss.
- Giving a guy a blowjob: mouth -> penis -> pleasure
- Eating out a girl: Okay take the blue wire and overlap it with the yellow wire making sure it doesn't cross the red one. After that take all three of the wires and tie them all in a knot using only your left foot.
fuck sake.
Fgdhkfldjahafskd this is so frustrating
why is that sausage there
there is a dancing woman in a bikini with excessively long arms and an eyeball for a head and you question the sausage
LOL
(Source: warchiefdoneleft)
Me jammin to Cinema by Skrillex! Prolly my favorite one so far.
50 minutes until my birthday yo
(Source: 8oh5)

